My friends will hate me...

On Dussehra, I realized something weird.
I wanted to visit the Durga Pandals.
So, I called up the 3 friends I have - 2 of them were busy and one said abba nahi manenge :)

I decided to visit solo.

I went to every pandal, ate some delicious golgappas (yes, golgappas and not pani puri), and had a Kathi roll.

I was walking back home, and a thought hit me.

If I can have a good time without friends, do I even need them?
what are friends really for?

According to the Age-Dependent Friendship Paradigm, which says the number of friends in your life is inversely proportional to your age (see graph for a visual representation)

Honestly, there is no such theory. I just made it:)

I had 20 friends when I was 5.
15 when I was 10.
10 when I was 15….

Now I am left with only 3 of my college friends.
We plan a meet-up once in like every 6 months, share a few reels on our Instagram group, and occasionally call each other - because of the time difference all 4 of us cannot even join the same call.

I was quietly walking back, but then the urge to make a pros and cons list took over - hurried home, removed my hoodie (btw Dilli folks - winters are officially here), and started jotting down the pros and con list.

Uhmm, looking at the list, I guess friends are important.
I mean at the end of the day we all are apes - we are meant to live a life in groups or communities.

In fact, for most primate species, including us, loneliness is riskier than smoking and obesity!

So, YES - friends are important.

What makes them special is the - “you have to continuously opt-in”
But, that’s also what makes friendship harder to hold on to as our lives evolve.

It’s hard but not impossible.
Adult friendships are difficult because they are ‘ritual-deficient’ unlike childhood friends - where you know you will meet the same group of people every day in school or at the playing ground.

I think that’s what makes adult friendships beautiful.
We have to continuously create them: weekly phone calls, road trips or whatever it takes

I guess, what I’m trying to say is —>
if your friend calls you saying let’s go to Durga Pujo pandals, you go with them 😤 (or they will write a full newsletter bashing you)

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If you also have similar friendship-related stories - I would loooove to hear those!
Simply reply to this email and we will have 1:1 conversation.

Also, a reminder to call your friends, and tell them ‘I’m there for you!’