The scariest thing I've done

Hi, this is Shikha :)
I take care of experience at Unlearn

So, for Dussera this year, I wore a Saree to work.

You must be thinking, why am I getting this Instagram update of OOTD in a newsletter?

I actually want to talk about the process that led me to do it.

Since my school days, I've fantasized about wearing a saree to work, inspired by my elegantly dressed female teachers. I even reserved my mom's purple saree for the day I could finally wear it.

And then, life happened!

That’s the thing about life.
It catches up on you really fast, even before you realize it.
Anyways, coming back to the saree story.

I started having this love affair with saree once again - when we started working from the office 10 months ago.

I was like, this is it.
Now, I can finally have my big moment.
Still, it took me 10 months to do it all together.

I had so many thoughts (Of course, I am an overthinker).

What will people think?
Am I in shape to carry a Saree?
Which fabric will flatter my curves?
What sort of blouse will complement my curvy body?
Will I make fun of myself doing this?
Will the saree even compliment my personality?

Worst of all,
What if I fall? - If I fall, people will definitely laugh their asses off!

This is my go-to thought process for anything and everything.
And living and reliving this over and over again.

Anyways, after watching a ton load of reels and reading self-help quotes on Pinterest, I have come to the conclusion that the trigger to my overthinking and insanity is ‘Change’.

Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than CHANGE. (I mean creepy crawlies like Caterpillars do, but that’s different 🐛)

Talking of changes, I have categorized them into 2 types based on triggers:

• Natural Changes: Changes we don’t have control over. (Losing loved ones, growing old, falling in love)

• Chaotic Changes: Changes that we choose to make consciously, mostly to deal with natural changes. These changes bring order to the chaos in your life. (eating healthy, exercising, opting for therapy, listening better) These are the changes that you want to make, but you are too afraid to.

The 1st major change that I can recall was when I graduated as an Architect, and within 6 months, I hopped 3 firms for a satisfying job and, at last, freelanced for 8 more months. Still, I never got that kick - you know?
I never felt this was something I would love doing for years.

I went on from practicing Architecture to preparing for the Civil Service Examination. This was a shocker to my parents, and to me, it was scary. But this career switch path that I chose changed my life in more ways than I expected it to.

I was all in, learning just for the joy of it, until I hit a wall: would I really be content doing the job, if I make it to the list? And the answer came: Maybe not. And that made me uncomfortable yet again.

That was my cue to take an exit.

Which again was a big change.

Not just professionally but personally. After two years of self-imposed isolation—thanks, exams and lockdown— I went from an average introvert to a completely antisocial person (I still have withdrawal symptoms).

Not to forget that by this time, I didn’t know how and where I would build my career.

I was at Square 1, pavilion, starting point.

Coming back to the ‘real world’ was not just a change but a full-blown challenge.

Fast forward, it's been 18 months since I started working my current job, and I have been pushed out of my comfort zone every single day.

Somedays, I embrace it beautifully.
On others, I try.

Looking back, everything changes…
Our situations, friends, relations with our loved ones, career choices, lifestyle choices, even choice for a life partner, our job role, our eyesight, and waist size.

You get the idea.
Everything changes!

A lot has changed for me over the years, and now I have a Love-Hate relationship with Change.

Changes are hard, but every change is a chance to embrace the beauty of transformation. And if it's a change that you don’t like, change it to something that you would like.

Remember, you are the main character of your story, so live a good one.

I dared to change my career, a few aspects of my social personality and worked on my mental health to change the chaos in my life for the better.

My mantra is 3A: Acknowledge, Accept, and Action.

I acknowledge the change, accept it, and then take the required action (embrace it, enhance it, or change it back) You do you. And if this mantra resonates with you, take it!

The point is that change is scary, change is uncertain, change demands effort and time, but also, change is the only constant.

Change is beautiful, and so are we :)